these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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