I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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