Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Everything about him screamed your future.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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