She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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