Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
