No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
