if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
