she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
