Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
