She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
