i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
