I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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