Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
