1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
