i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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