I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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