And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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