id be glad to
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
