Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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