i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
