I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
