he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
