I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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