You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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