Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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