My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
