D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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