theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
