So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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