Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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