I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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