I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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