Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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