loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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