I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
