She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
