Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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