Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
