My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize