i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize