Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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