Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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