What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
