Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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