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All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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