im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
