It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
