I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
