your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
