Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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