Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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