cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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