you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
