I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We smell like vodka and hangover
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