I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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