You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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