Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
