i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
