I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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