i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
In America we eat man semen.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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