I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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